How to get back more of yourself.

Making yourself a priority can be challenging if you are in habit of putting yourself last or always putting others first. Learning to create time for healthy rituals can be daunting in the beginning and may feel like unfamiliar territory. It may seem like other people have it so much more together than you or that they achieve things so much easier than you can. Set the comparisons aside & focus on the one person you can influence the most: Y.O.U!

One simple way of making yourself a priority is to take time for self- reflection. You may find meditation comes easily to you or journals might be more appealing. However you chose to spend time with yourself and your thoughts is your call. Ideally you’ll create a peaceful environment or find a comfortable setting that you can relax in and then just take the time to listen to yourself. Listen to your heart, learn to trust your gut, get comfortable at comforting your lower-brain and simply thanking your fears for showing up, so you can gently release them from your mind.

“Your soul needs time for solitude and self-reflection. In order to love lead, heal and create you must nourish yourself first.” – Linda Joy

Even if it’s just one minute, to begin with, it is still a powerful activity. Not only does it start to show you that you are important and worthy of your own time and intention, it also allows you to slow down and be in the present. You can rewrite things to how you wish they played out or practice detachment, acceptance and/or forgiveness when you are experiencing disappointment or frustration. You get to make up your own way of honoring yourself and your story - be gentle with yourself and try to make it easy for your inner child to be heard too.

“We do not learn from experience. We learn from reflecting on experience.” – John Dewey

Time spent reflecting is always time well spent if the intention is to learn from the experience. It is wasted time to beat yourself up, feel guilty, remorseful, vengeful or to dwell on the notion that things could have been any other way. Making peace with things exactly how they are, allows you to be free from any negative interpretation or vibration. It releases you from judgement, suffering, regret and pain. You might want to practice repeating a mantra to yourself like "everything is always working out for my greatest good." Everything truly is working out for the greatest and highest good, that is the highest operating power in the universe. We might not always be able to see it at first, but the more you have faith that it is, the more you'll see the consistent evidence that it is. I frequently assure myself that “everything is in Divine Order & happens with Perfect Timing.” It helps with my lack of patience and control issues that surface on the regular.

Once I got a handle on my own accountability and took responsibility for situations I had gotten myself into, I was able to better navigate my way around repeating the same mistakes over and over. Not to say I don’t still step in shit but I have gotten better at my healthy boundaries and discernment, so the price I am paying isn't as high as it was - before it was costing me everything - I had sacrificed myself, my desires, my wishes and dreams just to try and please everyone else. I didn't advocate for myself, couldn't stand up for what I wanted and felt consistently overextended and was often left feeling sad, depleted and under appreciated.

For me, it took years to get confidant at saying 'no' to others and to start asking for what I truly desired. Luckily journals have been my outlet and have allowed me to find my voice and see my patterns in a nonthreatening, non-judgmental way. It is normal if you start out with good consistency and then stop - it happens to the best of us. When I should write the most, I usually don’t (aka avoidance & denial) - (kinda like my visits to the gym) but when I am consistent about checking in with myself - I do feel more at ease, less scattered and better prepared for what life is currently serving up. If you do need to hit a restart button, give yourself permission to start again without any pressure or self imposed guilt.

Recommit to yourself everyday - you are worth it!!

How and when will you make yourself a priority and carve out time to reflect?

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