I’ve been exploring Forgiveness – understanding that it’s critical to forgive others, so we aren’t holding on to the resentment and toxic energy – housing negativity in our Temple. The idea of forgiving myself however is as uncomfortable as sitting on a bale of hay, that’s crawling with ants, under a sweltering hot Summer Sun. The idea of extending the same unconditional love, grace and compassion to myself that I would allow for everyone else, is hard to swallow – mostly because I know I haven’t. I haven’t ever completely let myself off the hook. The perfectionist in me knows I fucked up. Knows I ignored signs, didn’t listen to my intuition, overrode my Higher Self – that’s hard to forgive. I let myself be silenced and intimidated because I didn’t want to upset someone else, wanted to accommodate someone’s agenda & ultimately was afraid of being abandoned. I didn’t want to appear less than perfect, instead I sacrificed everything that I hold dear: my authenticity.

At some young, impressionable age, my sense of self worth was destroyed, I was broken, damaged goods, and for the most part, I was ignorant of my dilemma, so I just kept attracting examples that supported the beliefs I held to be true. Patterns continued to emerge that reinforced the ideas that I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t someone anyone would ever commit to, be faithful to, or make a priority. I settled for verbal abuse, emotional neglect and less than poetic relationships. I don’t hold any grudges, I can rationalize anyone else’s behavior & from a place of true compassion recognize that they were acting out from places of trauma, hurt and fear too.  They were simply responding to the low vibration and even lower expectations that I was so familiar with. As messed up as it was, it didn’t stop me from ‘falling in Love’ and learning the hard way, time and time again. Destined to fail every time because none of us were vessels that could hold enough Love, not for ourselves, let alone each other. Turns out the most challenging person for me to truly love is me, as it is with forgiveness; Why is it seemingly so difficult to show ourselves some Grace? Isn’t the Golden Rule circular? Do unto others as you would do unto yourself….Do unto yourself as you would do for others.Kind-Word-web

We’ve been told ‘we are the love that we are seeking’ and ‘you have to love yourself first to love others’ – that’s a big enough challenge for some of us to get our heads around. Now add to mix, you’ve got to forgive yourself completely and let everyone else off the hook too – we’re so fucked – how we gonna do that?

Forgiveness is releasing yourself and others from your attachment to outcome, allowing yourself to free up that space for a more positive, creative energy. Free up your emotional ties, acknowledge the lesson, bless the opportunity to learn. Give yourself credit for what you endured and commend yourself for your resilience & strengths. Become aware of all the signs, that you chose to ignore and gently promise yourself to practice honoring your intuition and trusting your higher self.

One of the fundamentals of Kaizen Muse Creativity Coaching, is the Credit Report or Ta-Dah List, where you acknowledge your successes, give yourself credit for goals you’ve accomplished and list victories of all sizes. I think I might encourage a second list, and I’m open to catchy names for it – I’m pretty sure my teen would call it the “Chuck it in the Fuck it Bucket” list, could be the “Let everyone off the hook” list or perhaps simply put the “Forgive and Forget” list. Whatever you call it, try naming all the things you’re still holding against others, including yourself. By doing so, you free up that Space, which in turns creates a space for more abundance, more joy, more peace, more love, more irieness to fill in. Let me know how it goes…..I think “Throw away 50 things” might have been an easier challenge for me. Just like the physical act of tidying our space, letting go of anything that does not bring us Joy is Freedom. Forgiveness liberates us from unnecessary emotional clutter that is just junking up our space. So here’s to chuckin’ it in the fuck it Bucket and enjoying more of the things that light us up!!! Enjoy the Process :-) X Robin

You were born to ShineHere are some other ideas and tools for Forgiveness:

DoTerra Forgive touch roller – use daily or as needed, roll over Heart to aid with release.

Tapping/E.F.T. – Emotional Freedom Technique (maybe someday I’ll make my own tapping video, until then, search YouTube, you’ll find a ton on videos you can follow along with.)

Mirror Work, Positive Affirmations & Anchors – look up Louise Hay – she’s got decades of content on this.

Journaling/Forgiveness List/Gratitude Lists (remember: be thankful for the lesson, gratitude is a must)

Work with Nature/your Element: Fire signs may chose to burn their list in a ceremonial fire. Earth signs could bury it or plant it with seeds, bulbs or a tree to show new intentions. Air signs can visualize them being carried by the Wind. Water signs, cast thoughts into the waves or watch them wash down a drain.

Work with Faeries to remind you of the importance of Play and having Fun, & not holding onto grudges, resentment or fear.

Work with Angels to support You with unconditional Love and acceptance.

Work with a Coach or Therapist to help support any of the ideas above.

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